love

A crazy, stupid, non rational, non challenging, growing, astonishing and comforting thing if you have it right but it is yet as brutal  ,torment, agonizing  painful  and discomforting if you got it all wrong .But isn’t that the type of love we all are getting  these days .The one that hurts us causes sadness, immense. mental trauma and sorrow . We all have went through breakups and as much as you can deny it they are all bad .They SUCK Period !!!  . But that makes me think why we actually break up ??

Anyone can give excuses or their stupid lies that they tell themselves and others. I deserve better, she got boring, he cannot commit, he talked with anger, she is just so clingy all the time and what not.

But I don’t think those are the actual reasons. We break up because we don’t really know what love is all about. We get into relations just for the sake of it. We meet people, text and fall for the image what we have created of the person we texting. We meet people grow friendships ,let our brain fool us in thinking they are perfect and then we bang .Yes I mean BANG .We don’t love anymore we FUCK and then we regret and blame LOVE . Something that we know nothing about cause we never notice it all around, we are never taught about it in schools or textbooks and that’s why there is more pain and sorrows in this GEN Y of ours.

A whole generation not wishing to be loved or to love . AMAZING IS IT NOT ??  We all have been hurt by some other asshole or unfaithful ladies (see people this is how you save yourself from feminists) and now we hate love, even the thought of love makes us go for another round of shots.

I think the idea of love has just disappeared and known as old school now. Emotions mere a thing to play with, body type are the sole character a person now posses .Spirits, Soul attachments, soul mates ..People laugh at such words.. IS it because we are not able to understand them or maybe they don’t hold any value in our day to day lives.

I don’t know what is happening to us but I feel us closer to hate then in the backseat of our rovers with someone we will NEVER give up NO MATTER WHAT.

A FACE

 

A sudden jolt of the car and it startled and stopped.I could smell the burning tires and the sound of my brakes caught every eye around… That sheer should of sudden brakes and that burning smell.I instantly knew it was my doomsday, I glanced down in my rear view mirror and saw the burnt rubber on the road ….a jolt again and my car came to a halt with a sudden crash of my engine. I should have been afraid, my heart was pounding faster than it had been all day long, sweat ran across my forehead even though the air conditioner was on and with the background music of some stupid slow track by Arjit I saw her.A glowing face, A shiny angel walking right in the middle of the street. I was afraid to my bones “Has she heard my brakes.Did she know I was here ??? Would she recognize my old car ..the car in which we have spent so many loving nights and evenings? I still remember the last time we were in this car, the song Closer wasn’t even out then and we both were in the backseat of my car making love Or was that really love ?? I am not sure of that anymore but it was something I will never forget.
Then she turned.She turned and My heart stopped beating …I believe she saw me but she didn’t stop just walked across the road without looking again. She has stopped again she is looking dead straight into my windshield. I am frozen, my hands start to shiver and I feel if there was darkness in front of me but then I don’t know what happened.I punched the liver to my right and my seat got straighten and along with it, I fall back. I am now lying straight in my car impossible to
see from the front. But I could still see her. She picked 1 strain of her hair and pushed it back to her ear and I saw her cheeks and lips.Damn !! I still remember the time when I used to play with those hair and then she did it again she circled her hair strand and then put it back behind her ear as if she is teasing me. She knew I loved when she did that. She hasn’t moved an inch, neither have I. I don’t know if m breathing or not anymore. I can’t hear the song. I can’t hear the honking car behind me. I am stuck in the oblivion. Must have been some real deep quantum shit
as I don’t know which time zone I am in anymore. You know that slow motion thing all crappy Bollywood movies have. The girl handles her bag and guy falls for her …….Time has stopped ..I don’t know how many hours have been gone while I have been here or may be it just has been a minute or less than that.
Sunlight falls on her face as she takes a step towards me. I feel like a cornered boxer, nowhere to run, nowhere to hide just waiting for my destiny or my destruction. She has stopped and turned left looking at her office. I raise myself a bit to see her. Her black Adidas t shirt, her dark blue denim, her small bellies on those tiny little feet. I start to wonder has she lost weight she looks slim or maybe more fit I am in no sense to judge, I looked at my belly and smile. I am still in shock and awe at the same time. Her red hair is gone. She again has those black curly hair which ends to her bra strap on her back I knew she’s wearing her black 1 today. She always used to wear the same with this tee. Sunlight is troubling her…. falling straight into her eyes. She’s
irritated. Damn it the sun get the fuck outta here !!!! She has her company bag with her still and that blue Tupperware lunch box. I wonder what was in it today .. Curry, Lentils or may be Rajma….Rajma …which she loved to cook for me especially.and a smile spreads down my lips. I could see her face again now I sank back deep into the seat again. Invisible to her yet so much open .. so much open to the world that anyone could creep in and hurt me. She has lipstick on ..just the small hint of pink. I always wondered how she does that … Take just a little lipstick just little that one can only notice. But I know what under that shade. I know the colors of those lips whom I have touched, felt, kissed and loved. I could almost feel the taste of her lips on mine again and then she turns away from her to her cab. She still has that swiftness in her
walk, Her butts going in perfect sync. Her steps just coming straight in a line. I always have been in love of her catwalk right from the first time I saw walking in a ramp show at my college festival.

She is close to the door. She holds the handle to open up and stops turns around in my direction again and stops. My hearts is pounding more faster. God, I might have a heart attack.Damn my head is hurting. I shouldn’t have drunk so much. She is not opening the door of her cab.She is just standing there looking in my direction. Is she looking at me ?? Has she found out it’s been me here all along?? Is she waiting for someone ??

And then she smiles
Fuck Fuck….!!! God, I want to taste her lips again. She has made a perfect smile again from ear to ear. Should I go out ??? Should I call her to let her know that m here …right in front of her ??? Is she waiting for me to drive close to her as I always did when I used to come to pick her up from her office ..?? Is she tired ?? She does look tired …poor child must have been working all day long. She needs rest. She’s again holding the handle of the door. She opens it up and looks back again. She knows …..By the look in her eyes and her smile, I know that she knows m here … it’s
me only … What is she thinking?? That m some kind of stalker … A pervert … An asshole ….???????? I Don’t know.. may be I am.

She waved off her hand as a goodbye in my direction and gets in her cab. Was she waving to me as a goodbye forever??? I try to look behind myself I see several people behind several in front of me … Nobody moved an inch. All were busy in their own miserable lives or corporate bordism and smoke rings. And she’s off Should I follow her ?? Should I stalk her to her house? I know where she lives. I know which route this cab will take … There really are just 3ways to get out of here. I know all of them. I know them just like the back of my hand. I have been on all of them
100s of times. With her … Without her … With other girls.. alone !! I could chase her …

 

Shit someone’s behind me honking loudly .. Stop it, motherfucker … Oh crap, there is a line of cars behind mine… m blocking everyone’s path .. I ignited my engine and the car jumps .. Damn it .. I must have left it in gear … I pressed the clutch and make sure that my throttle meets the metal under it. I car comes alive. But where now ……… I stop again along the sidewalk. I look for her .. she’s gone … Lost in this scene .. Just as she had 7 months back and here I am. The radio is playing. Keep me in your heart for a while by Warren Zevon…. I smile and think … The radio
jockey sitting 20km away from me knows what my heart wants and yet she doesn’t…… I start to sing along…

Living the fears

You can either live your dreams or live your fears and i feel majority of people are actually not living their dreams but are living their fears.

So lets ask them a question ?? What are your fears ?? What are you afraid of ??What makes you shit in your pants every other night?? What is it that scares you ??

And trust me we all have fears .Every single one of us have some or other fears.Gone are the days of MR Gandhi or Winston Churchill or Mr Mandela, as i believe they were fearless but not anymore.If you are in 2017.. Boy ! You have fears.

For those who are about to stop reading this thinking it to be another science shit lecture.This ain’t it . I am not talking about your fears of spiders or height or clowns. I want  to talk about the internal fears .The fears that stops you from achieving the greatness within you. The fears which doesn’t let you do what you want to do because you are afraid. That is the reason why so many people are not living their true potential because of their fears ..Their fears of rejection,false expectations.

I want you to decide something today to decide just 1 simple thing —DO YOU WANNA LIVE YOUR DREAMS OR DO YOU WANNA LIVE YOUR FEARS??

Cause if you chose to live with fears ,good luck is all i have for you.

But if you want to pursue your dreams then i think i have something in the store for you people.i am narrowing them down in few steps.

  • Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Richard Branson — ‘If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later!

I have seen entrepreneurs who never take risks and hence walk straight into their dooms. I have known people who regrets their lives just because they were afraid to ask the girl of their dreams to marry them.

Guys you know what your heart wants and trust me if you are afraid it surely would be worth it and much more satisfying than anything that you might have done till now.

So feel the feel ,embrace it and then steps up to knock its brains out. 

  • Take ownership of your life

You have fought your way into the world . You already have beaten millions of sperms to be born. Ain’t that’s great !!! But we still let others take the ownership of our lives and wait for permissions or acceptances to do what we want to do.

WHY?? Why the fuck you want someone to tell you that whats is good for you or not?Why you waiting for other people so you could go on that Europe trip ?Go alone.

Start taking control of you lives .Start taking responsibilities of your own deeds.

 

  • Don’t fit your dream in your smaller lives.

IF i can tell one thing from the lives of all the successful persons is that they never worked for themselves. They worked for the benefit of people and that’s how they reach to the top because they have understood that their dream is bigger than their own lives. Their aim is much higher than the lives they live. The idea is worth much more than their company.

IDEAS ARE LIKE BULLETS,DON’T KEEP THEM IN THEIR SHELL.. FIRE THEM OR THEY WILL BE OF NO USE.

 

  • Get on the top cause the bottom is always overcrowded 

There is a reason why all the top riches in the world are just 3% of the whole population and which the rest of 97% is not in that. Not all of them were born with silver spoon up in their asses. I have seen people working their way up to the top.Fighting daily with their fears and never giving up.All because they believed in something. They wanted to achieve something so they worked their asses off every day and night and reached what they were chasing.

DON’T SETTLE YOUR LIFE WITH OK  … MAKE IT LARGE. CREATE AN EMPIRE,NOT A HOUSE.

 

  • Where there is way there is a way.

We all know the thirsty crow story but have we learnt anything from it like fucking ever.If you were to do something you will make that happen no matter how tough it is or how hard you think it is. IF its on the top of your priority list you will do it no matter what you will find a way and there always is a way.

JUST FIND THE ONE YOU NEED OR EVEN BETTER MAKE ONE FOR YOURSELF!!!

 

WHEN YOU ARE BACKED DOWN AT THE WALL BREAK THE GODDAMN THING DOWN-HARVEY SPECTER

IT’s alright if you have fears but if you not fighting them everyday to excel in your life man you are wasting you time on the ground.So get up and get going.

Hard to love

I think it’s really hard to love another person in modern days.We all have been in love with someone, or we at least think that way that it was love, He was the one, She’s the one that got away. But is it really so?? I don’t think so and as stupid this might sound but bear with me for 30 seconds and you will know.

Engineered for survival

IF we humans know one thing for sure its survival. We know to survive and we are furious while doing that. We know people possessing extreme skills when their life was on the line. How can we even forget 127 hours cause if that doesn’t justify my point I don’t know what else will? Now here is the question How can we love someone else and be sure that when the time of survival comes they won’t eat us up and stay alive??

Selflessness is nonexistent in relationships

I have been through a lot of relationships and if there is one thing that held common in all of them it was that they were all two sided. I deliver something and get something in return or they delivered something and I returned. Be it respect, care or physical satisfactions. Hardly selflessness exists in the modern day relationships, it’s more of a business deals.

Spouse vs. Kids

 If asked the question who do you love more your kid or your husband?? The only answer that I have received after asking tons of lovely mothers is that –We love our husbands but hardly as compared to our kids.

Texts vs. talks

Now a days we hardly talk we text ,we don’t meet we Skype, we don’t send postcard we send pictures. We now love in the modern era of psudocommunication where everyone just does this or that to tell the world that they are doing it. Relationships lack communications now.

The world is coming together but the people are having gulfs between them.

Friendship vs. Partner

This is a tough call I know but I asked this question to many men and women and their answers were similar-Given a choice to hang out with your best friends or your partner who would you pick?? Except from a few of young people all the older couples picked their best friends .Cause they feel that enjoying a cold beer or a shopping session is more fun than their cuddling in bed with their partners.

True love is like a ghost, which everyone talks about and only few have seen –Francois de La Rochefoucauld

So if you have that ghost with you. Don’t let it pass through the walls away from you. Hold it tight and never let go. 

Triggers

Hey ,

What is that moves you ,Takes you back to memory lane, Makes you work twice hard,Makes you feel loved, Makes you trust,Makes you hate. What is that shakes you ,That touches you ,brings the best out of you .

I feel mine are triggers.

As simple ones as a song or a movie or just a coffee by the roadside. Things makes you do things the usual U wont do. A simple song will touch you and make you fell nostalgic .A movie will make you wonder all that possibilities we usually miss out. .

Look out  for your triggers and use them to progress to get ahead to run forward even if you fall ,get up rise and reach for what is yours

Dr. Denzel Washington- “When You Fall, Fall Forward”

Things you can learn from a child

We all have been kids. The best times of our lives where the worst thing could happen was not being able to complete our homework. Happiness was the only thing we knew, pain was not in the dictionary that was known to us. Favorite thing to do in the day was to run back home and watch Pokémon and Beyblade and assume to be Kai or Ash. The world was of dreams and imaginations and then shit happened—WE GROW UP..Now we are suffering in the cold dryness of our corporate lives with hardly happiness in our lives and just money and monetary things we chase.

All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.-Pablo Picasso

But if you look closer there are still a lot of things which meets the eye once you see a kid and just according to the happy song by THE BEACH BOYS- A CHILD IS THE FATHER OF A MAN…   Here are a few things only a kid can teach you.

  • EVERYTHING IS A MYSTERY– Be it whatever a single card, a switch, a tie, a deodorant can, a mouse pad, a new animal. Everything is a mystery and the best thing is curiosity .A kid is open to anything that comes to him, open to earn, open to adapt, and open to experiment.

 

  • PAIN IS JUST A WORD– We fall, we suffer losses, we get our heart broken, we go bankrupt and cry out our eyes about how miserable our lives are. But notice a kid, he will fall ,he will put his little fingers in electricity sockets, get his hand burned and half hour later completely forget about it like it doesn’t even happened . LET THE PAIN AND HURT BEHIND OUR BACK AND FORGET THAT THEY EVEN WERE THERE..

 

  • LEARN AND ACCEPT-we are so stubborn and arrogant in our own egos that we hardly take time to understand new things and hardly accept the changes occurring in the world to us. A kid on the other hand opens himself up for new learning, be it language or antiquates or how to eat without spilling or why he should not say boobs in public. BE FLEXIBLE BEING ADAPTIVE, LEANING AND BE GRACEFUL ABOUT IT.

 

  •  FUCK SAFETY – BE crazy, cross roads without looking sideways, drink hot coffee, touch a hot iron. Do all that not to hurt yourself but to relax sometime. WE ALL KNOW THAT WE CANNOT BE OLD AND WISE IF WE NEVER BE YOUNG AND STUPID.

 

  • TEARS– We all get hurt but it’s how we deal with them that matters.  Either we slip in our blanket or forget the tears by seeing a candy bar. That’s on us

 

Kids are the best souls in the planet .They are pure, happy, true and all loving. Make them best of themselves and even better person we ever were..

Comfortable death

​I went down to a hospital today .. nothing much just regular checkups and don’t know why bt I felt like laughing..

At the entrance I was indulged with valet parking service ,made me check if I was at a hospital or at Leela’s. Shitty security lead me to the reception where I noticed blocks for Indians and foreigners and I incidentally remembered the Mard movie ..(good flick it is ,give it a try with your old man).

I got my check up done and this hot nurse made me remember all the NAUGHTY AMERICA downloads ., haven’t we all boys have dreamt of that ..hot nurse , hospital bed .

But away from that I noticed something awkward today .This hospital is not what it looks like .It’s a goddamn business and a healthy one at that . Flourishing buildings , hanging gardens ,formals dressings,flooding parking lots ,Ac rooms , LCD TV screens , continental breakfast and what not ..

Made me think about just one thing if that’s what being sick treats you like may be I want to stay here . This isn’t so bad it’s a fucking luxury house except the booze . 

I met a guy in stairwell with all the hospital robe and iv in his hands ,with shaved head and a warm smile . He came from basement which I now know where they held cancer patients. His first words to me Instantly made me like him . He stepped up the stairs and said ‘U know nicotine is a Indian weed and now the world is dying cause v smoke shit . Devious minds think alike, my man can I bum 1?’ 

I smiled and agreed passing him a stick .

 He said ‘ You seem alright what u here for ‘

Me -‘ Just some regular shit cough blood , brain craps ,U?

Him -‘ oh didn’t you see I came here to get my head shaved ‘.

A cold humor 

I smiled ,he added you know I can tell it’s my time now

Me – How you know?

Him- My family and all started coming here , loving me a lot . You can tell when your time is here they all suddenly fall in love with you Ironically. Tell you how much they value you and all shit . But I can see their lies ,lies in their smiles . Fucking vultures waiting for me to do so they go and enjoy their petty lives again.

Me -u hate your family?

Him- Nah man that’s all I got right now and You .The big guy with a smoke . Thanks man.

He walked and I just remembered one line somebody said to me years ago – Fear the man who is dying and knows it . Alas we are all here in this world waiting to die every day ignoring what values the most in life ie Time , love , relationshis and just grind our ass daily for nothing but a comfortable death .☺

Sea and silence

​Silent skies, rings of cigarette smokes , shimmer of stars above, and glowing moon… Thoughts and beer as the toes go deeper in d sand… The cold increases as the roaring of waves meet the thunderous beat of Zeus … and a gentle smile reaches my lips as my mind brought back the memory of u again with the wish of u being next to me.

Death

​Death….. No I will start with the word life,a simple four letter word describing the whole of crappy ass bullshit going on around you along with the most beautiful things happening in there all, 

But v all face the question what is life? Why is life?? Or why do we live?? Ain’t v all have faced that question in our lives, 

Life can be as long as a turtle or as short as a bee but what matters is how you live it. Everyday you are loosing time and a tiny bit of our lives…. Sad??  I know it is but still not quite like it. Cause your life is just not your life, your life is bound with the lives of numerous people all around u, whom u c whom u touch whom u fell in love with or whom you just are fooling around,,, those all are a part of your life and you are there’s. 

And with every passing moment you are touching their lives too. And trust me when I say this life is all about that only.  How you touch other people’s lives?? Those kind words you said to somebody that general huggi to gave to someone sad that gentle tap on your head by your parents or those kisses to your loved ones…. That’s all life  

Being a man is not about respect or strength it’s about being aware of all the things you touch.
I have seen a lot of deaths around me, bodies burning to ashes, people lying on the hospital bed I have seen them all. But that’s not beautiful  oh?!! No sir not a bit…. Now a days kids go with the flow and with their YOLO shit going on all over..:: Go hard die young ”  listen up you pot smokers there is no such thing as a beautiful dead body…. 

How the fuck can u even say that you only live once when u haven’t even understood what living is all about 

Life is not going nuts or what have you earned . Life is what you have when u are gone. Life is measured not in piles of notes or blunders of golds, not that suit or that cruise ship u own but what you left here what’s your legacy is your life.
Life is a beautiful thing men . A much more beautiful thing then the hottest chick you ever saw, the craziest thing you ever did, the mistakes you made, the long roads and opportunities you missed…. Life is much more then that 
Life is having somebody to carry your coffin, life is having a man crying on your corpse whom nobody have ever saw shed a tear, life is having someone to watch you as you go down in ashes, to sit next to you when nobody wants to… Life is to have people around you to moist their eyes when you are gone, to have some friends who in tears  laugh on some shit you said or did over the drinks when you were alive…  

And so beautiful is death but only for the person cause he doesn’t have to c what he have left behind. They ask me why I never  shed a tear @ funeral and I always say he is more happier than any of us ever have been and m happy for him.. 

This blistering cold is making me shiver to type so I bid your adieu with jus one line…….

Life is nothing but a four letter word……!!!